50 things I’m Bad at

This might not be the post you’re expecting.
But it’s been floating around in my mind for a couple of years, so I guess it’s time to share.

I keep thinking about the perception we have of each others’ lives…and the pretty pictures we share on Instagram and our blogs…and the persona that we give off.
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We always talk about comparing ourselves; and not comparing ourselves; and how damaging it can be.  I totally agree.  The post last week about Clara has kept me thinking
about it on a personal level, among my own peers.

The more we share our pretty lives, the more those age-old questions simmer in our minds,
“How does she do it all?”
“How does she find balance?”
“Why are her kids always so happy?
 
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And we continue to compare our lives to a persona that may, or may not even be real.
It’s hard enough when we compare ourselves to others…but to compare ourselves to an image we’ve built up in our minds is crazy!

What a funny age we live in.

A time where we can share our lives with the world—and pick and choose what we want others to see.  In 10 years we’ll all be reading books about what we’ve done to ourselves.
Scratch that.
We can probably read books about it right now.

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Here’s the thing—I love pretty pictures.

And I love taking pictures.  Naturally I want to share those with you, and look at your pretty images in return.  Because bright yellow walls, confetti, and happy kids always make me smile.  So please don’t stop sharing your pink flamingos.

But I always hope that through the color you see the real me as well—the Dana default.

I hope it comes across that I have crappy days where I realize that I never smiled.  Or moments when I make clay birds that melt in minutes before my tired eyes.  I really try to share the real, everyday moments with you too.  Because like you, I am a mom, woman, girl, and sister, who sometimes yells at her kids and then apologizes to them later.
And I know you know that.

So where am I going with this?

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Well rather than talking about how to do it all, since we all know that no one is…doing what we perceive they might be, right?
And rather than sharing thoughts on how to balance creative time with home life, because I have no idea.

I thought I’d share 50 things that I’m bad at.

Well they’re not all bad things, but rather oddities, insecurities, bad habits, and things I’m no good it–things that help break down the yellow curtain of colorful backdrops and polka dots and show you the same old t-shirt and shorts I wear every day.

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So now when you see pictures of a clean house, your mind won’t create unrealistic happenings beyond.  Instead you’ll know that I cooked spaghetti and frozen peas for the 3rd night in a row (if I even cooked).

So here you go…

50 Oddities, Bad Habits, and Things I’m No Good At

1.  I’m horrible at sports. Like really bad.  Don’t ever pick me for your team—unless it’s dancing.  Anything else, go to the next person.

2.  I’m late to everything.

3.  I talk too fast—my dad never understands me.

4.  I don’t like avocados.  I really, really WANT to like them. Believe me; I’ve tried.  I’ve tried guacamole 20 different ways (before you try to tell me that I need this one special recipe that will make me love it).  I just think they’re “eh”.

5.  I eat more ice cream than I should.

6.  I drink more diet coke than I should.

7.  I stay up later than I should….and often fall asleep on the couch.

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8.  I don’t like pets.  Any kind of pets.  Unless they’re humans, and you call them children.

9.  I suck at making cake pops (but you already knew that).

10.  I use the word “suck”.

11.  I’m really good at getting the laundry into the machine.  I’m really bad at folding it (which is probably on everyone’s list).

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12.  I can’t do Taco Tongue.

13.  And I can’t rolllllll my tongue.

14.  My kids have cereal for dinner once (or twice?) a week.

15.  My kids have Little Caesars pizza once a week (for any meal).

16.  I need to eat more healthy.

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17.  I have knobby knees.

18.  I wish my nose was cute as button.

19.  I don’t like chick flick movies.

20. I need to be more sentimental—my husband is first to remember birthdays and our anniversary.

21.  I’m bad at email.

22.  I eat more hamburgers than I should.

23. I once asked a doctor friend if we could simply eat brownies and cake for every meal and then load up on multi vitamins and water? And she started hyperventilating at the notion.  Of course I was joking, only sort of.

24.   I need to be more organized.

25.  I need to be more patient.
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26.  I HATE the snow and being cold.  My “worst scenario nightmare ” would be being stranded in the snow with a short-sleeved t-shirt on….or in icy waters in the middle of the ocean.  Okay, most people would hate that.  But truly, I would rather be starving for two days than sit in a frigid office building, trying to work on a computer.

27.  I do not like doing painting projects with my kids.  That’s what school is for.

28.  I don’t love shopping—in the window shopping sense. I just want to get in and out. Efficiency.

29.  I dated a guy once who faulted me for trying to be “efficient” on our date and it has stuck with me. Now, I try harder to enjoy the moment and the adventure that we’re in, rather than efficiently organizing the outing.  It’s hard for me; ask my husband.  But I try.

30.  I have a weird scar tissue thing on my leg that people look at out of the corner of their eye.

31.  I need to improve my posture.

32.  I need to go running more often.

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33.  I once asked my mom what county we lived in—that was in high school. And we were living in Orange County.  No explanations my friends.

34.  I once took my grandma’s cake, turned it upside down, and watched it splat onto the street, as we were walking into her birthday party….because I thought that if I could flip it around fast enough, centrifugal force would keep it in the pan (which we had just learned about in Physics class…and which actually does the opposite of what I expected).  My mom was totally annoyed; my brothers were devastated and started licking bits from the ground.  I promise I’m brighter than it sounds.  I did graduate from a reputable university.

35.  I drive too fast (back to the impatient and efficiency thing).

36.  I love reading US Weekly.

37.  My kids watch movies in the car.

38.  I had braces on my teeth twice, and wore a headgear both times.
Do people still do that??

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39.  I don’t like gray skies.

40.  I sometimes look at my friends successes and feel like I’m not creating enough patterns, or posting often enough on the blog.  And then I remember that I’m going at my own pace and living life like they are.

41.  I hate mushrooms—the kind you eat, and the kind growing in my yard.

42.  I need to read more books.

43.  I can’t watch TV without doing something else.

44.  I’m antsy.

45.  I don’t like riddles and crossword puzzles.

46.  I didn’t really like one of our children for the first 4 months of life, and I hate to admit that, but it’s truly how I felt.  Motherhood can be hard.  It’s not always cute smoochy kisses in a square.

47.  I know very little about makeup.

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48.  I probably know more lyrics to rap songs, than favorite scriptures and quotes.

49.  We have a very loose schedule and eat dinner at a different time each night—-mostly because of my creative antics.  I’m always amazed at my friends who have organized meal plans for the week and are on top of their grocery shopping.  I am not.

50.  It takes me a while to adapt when the schedule changes from what I had in mind.  This is a big one I’m trying to work on, especially because it drives my husband crazy.

And that, is just a little of what makes me, me.

Wow.  I really had no idea how therapeutic it would be to type that all out. It’s really interesting to see patterns among the list.
I guess what I need to work on most is letting go, enjoying the moment, eating less treats, and taking time to slow down….and reminding myself that you might have a list of 50 things you’re working on too.

We’re all in this together.
Have a great weekend friends!

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